You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
