brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
