YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
