That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
