Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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