I need help removing her.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
We have started to decorate penises.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
