so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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