I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
