Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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