the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
