she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I need to sanitize my soul.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
