Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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