one two three fourrrrnication!
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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