discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
