The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
