dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
