have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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