Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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