yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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