I wanna passion pit in your ass
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
