Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
