he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
then he tried to convert me to islam
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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