if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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