No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
