Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
