Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
