So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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