Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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