Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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