A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
