how can u be prego again
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
