is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
