So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
