Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
