It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
