If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize