i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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