I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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