i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
