Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
