what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
The struggles of a small town man whore
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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