I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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