oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
