She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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