i think i have two assholes
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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