I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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