If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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