we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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