Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
