Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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