I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Randomize
