put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize