Who wears a wallet chain?!
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
There r osticjed everywhere
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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