HIV tests are more positive than that guy
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Randomize
