I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
