why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
