no. you can't hotbox the world.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
