ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
