They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
