Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
