I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
