ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
