she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
