I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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