i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize