I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
