Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
