I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
