On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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