my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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