just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
