New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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