Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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